Happy Valentines Day!

We had a fun Valentines Day.  Avery woke up to a bag of goodies.  She got the Disney Peter Pan and some new paints from us.   She also got some fun surprises from my folks and my inlaws.  She loved everything.  I made pink waffles topped with chocolate syrup for breakfast, they even had purple sprinkles mixed into the batter.  She could have cared less :(  Ohwell.

We then headed over to Turf 4 Tots where we met up with our friends the Keiths.  Avery and Keegan played while I got to hold two week old Ainsley!  Avery met Ainsley for the first time today and even got to hold her for a minute.  While there we got a text from our girlfriend Susan who gave birth this morning to Kristin.  And another friend of ours had her baby girl, Joyanna Monday morning.  So 3 new baby girls here in Juneau.

We spent the rest of the day hanging out.  Avery played with her new paints and some stickers and walked Tasha around on leash throughout the house for awhile.  Poor Tasha, she puts up with so much!  Now we are just waiting for Sam to get home and we will pick up some Chinese take out and watch a movie.

Tomorrow, we have Avery's Parent/Teacher conference and I will go see my friend and her new baby in the hospital.  We are really ready for March even if it is the longest month of the year...spring is approaching.  Our snow pack in our yard has shrunk at least a foot if not more over the past 2 weeks.  I expect more snow, but it is nice to see the streets asphalt and the majority of our drive!   I can't wait for long days and rain gear and the beaches.  I have already entered lowest tides of the month into my calendar for this summer.

I have not really written about this and I am not really sure why I feel like writing about it now.  It has been 2 years now that we have been trying to conceive a second child.  Secondary infertility is isolating and confusing.  I go from being hopeful, to being sad, to being mad and then content.  Over and over, but I will say it is getting easier.

We decided about a year ago to start to let go and let what happens happen.  I am getting over it and trying to be content with how much I have and the one beautiful and amazing daughter I do have.  I am truly thankful for her.  It just hurts my heart when she asks for a sibling or speaks of them as if they are coming.

We have tried some drug therapy for a short stint (6 months).  I was diagnosed with PCOS,  poly cystic ovarian syndrome.  We stopped because mainly of the cost.  Our health insurance is basically catastrophe insurance and we just getting started at digging ourselves out of the debt we had obtained while in school and decided throwing thousands at this was just not worth it.  Maybe if we lived somewhere where they had specialists and I knew I was getting my monies worth, but Juneau doesn't have anyone like that.

Maybe it will happen and maybe it wont.  I am tired of the comments.  "It will happen when you stop trying." or the "You guys should try this (insert)."  or the "At least you have one."  It all just really is useless small talk that I don't care to hear.  It always comes from those who cannot relate.

Anyway, we have Avery!  She is awesome and loud and ridiculous.  I don't want sympathy, I just don't want to really talk about it with people who have not been there.  It sucks and it is what it is.  It is the first time in my life that I have not gotten something I really wanted. It is the first time I have failed where I really tried and it hurts and there is nothing I can do.  So this is me letting go.  We are parents of an only and I am okay with that.

Tea parties, porcupines and ice safety

Every time I look to see what day it is it seems to be Friday.  Except today, today is Wednesday.  Weeks have been flying by and we have been having fun.  I have managed to keep running this winter.  Not as much as I had wanted but still averaged over 40 miles in December and about the same in January.  One more month and things should start to be easier, it is just really hard in the snow and when the ice gets all bumpy to push a stroller.   I have spent that little extra time working on trim again. Blah. I hate painting with a passion.  I have managed to get both bathrooms done, the hallway and the garage entry.  That leaves the bedrooms (windows are already done), the closets, the laundry room and the 2 door frames in the garage. 

Avery having a tea party with her blankie, Lala and Bearie.

Sam had the other Thursday off and we got to go on a breakfast date while Avery was at school.  That was nice! We also almost hit a porcupine that couldn't make up his mind whether to cross the road or not.  He has been busy.  I keep waiting for things to slow down a little, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

the confused porcupine

They were practicing how to throw a buoy and pull someone in while staying stay safe on land.

Avery got to attend her first field trip with her preschool  They went to the glacier.  It was way too icy to do any walking, but they got a lesson in ice safety from a forest ranger and practiced some ways to help people who fall through the ice or what to do if they hear the ice cracking.

 

Avery is getting excited about Valentine's day and parent teacher conferences for preschool are also next week. Hopefully I will get around to blogging before March is here, but it's coming fast...